Long Lost Love

Our worlds move so fast, from getting up to work to going back home unwinding and sleeping back.This coupled with hours of mindless texting watching soaps on the television, hanging out with friends (had to include the extroverts #equality). By the end of the day we are so tired to do anything else. As a single twenty years old college girl, I am busy round the clock. Who said college life would be a piece of cake. But sometimes, some nights, sleep avoids me.  I mindlessly browse through Facebook, because i cannot sit alone with my thoughts. I don’t mind being alone, I have avoided contact often to avoid complications and it has worked out quite well. However, what I do get scared about is being lonely, and more than that, ending up lonely. Its this weird clenching feeling in my stomach, and it doesnt let me be in peace. I might be cynical, narcissitic, miserable and socially incapacitated, but i do believe in love. I am a direct result of one of the sweetest almost Bollywood like love stories. Infact by the time my mum was my age, she was already married to the love of her life.
And its not that i want marriage, atleast not now, maybe in a couple of years. But its just that some days I wish that maybe i had someone to talk to. Someone to share my feelings with. I have been in and out of love and the first few months have been great. However that honeymooney phase soon ends and you are left in this zone where if you dont try to keep it going, the fuel will run out. I wish to have a special someone where I can die trying to keep the fire burning and i will know that it is going to be worth it. Love is this complex set of emotions, it is like your favourite curry, or your favourite song; if you have to much of it, and you need a break,can’t even hear its name. But then one fine day you get up and feel damn I need some curry, or go and play that song on loop. It is difficult in this world of instant communication to keep up the longing, the wait, to keep the fire burning. My parents used to write letters. It took my dad about 2 years to say that he loved mum. It took them immense planning to meet, and try spending time with each other. Their letters were their lifeline, In about 4years they were engaged, and in about 6 married. In my times, proposals and break ups happen over Whatsapp. Instant gratification often comes like fire and like fire does burn out. In this fast paced life where everyone demands more from everything how can i find someone to keep the embers glowing. I am probably very idealistic, and wishing upon shooting stars for an old school romance, but I wish to God the next person I fall for is worth the wait.


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