That dreaded day of Love is here. Everything is dressed and drenched in shades of Love. Tiny hearts adorn every nook and corner. Soft toys with furry hearts smile through glittering store windows.
Every singleton hates this day. If only we could get our hands on a Love potion would this day become tolerable! It reinforces our loneliness and despair.
But, this Valentines I had my Nirvana! My vision expanded and I realised something that was true from the very beginning.
My true love..is Food.
Hence I came up with arguments to justify my stance.
Reasons why Food is the true Valentine.
1. First and foremost,
Food doesn’t judge you.
It doesn’t mind if you have ved hear and chapped lips..or if you are wearing Gucci or Sarojni.
Food demans appetite not apparell!
2.Food comes in all shapes and sizes. Thats right. If you like it big and Juicy or small and perky..(Pun intended) Food has everything!
Whether you desire a Gourmet feast or a little snack.
Food shall supply to your demands.
3. Food has flavours.
You will be labelled a slut if you went around changing partners. Furthermore your true love may not possess all the shades of the rainbow. They may be to harsh… stubborn. .stuck up or even non emotional.. but food complies.
So whether you are feeling a little naughty and Spicy or Sweet and Lovey Dovey.. there is always a food item available.
4. Food never Cheats
Remember how that scoundrel broke your heart into a million pieces. Or that moron who double dated and made false promises..Well Behold…Dear Food never cheats. Food is always Your loyal lover. Furthermore you can cheat at it with a diet or some healthy eating *gasp* but food shall be yours forever
5. Food is always available
Remember the times when you took hours to dress up..fretted over every little detail and your Date stood you up! Or the time when you needed a shoulder to cry on, a hand to hold..but they were busy with an assignment or a meeting.
Well, have no worries because Food is always there!
Be it that Tub of Cookie Dough to soothe your wounds..or that Bottle of Vodka to drown your sorrows..You call..you Fall and Food will catch you.
Psst! and if you can’t have enough..you can always get seconds!
6. Food doesn’t care about your past.
Food lives in the present…it doesn’t mind that you took a Chinese take out last night..or that your first choice was Italian.
As soon as you two are together..that is all that matters.
No background checks..no explanations.
7. Food truly loves you.
We all have heard of that warm fuzzy feeling…Thats exactly what you feel when you eat good food!
A bonus reason
Food compliments your Fandom choices.
Your better half may not be able to comprehend your obsession with a high functioning sociopath and with certain kinds of food items.
“Why do you take Black coffee?
Your coffee is black as your soul!” #Gawd
but food understands.
Be it Butter beer or Fish fingers with custard..you name it!
So sit back, relax. Have your favourite movie marathon! Order take out…or cook for yourself.
You don’t need no companionship! (Grammar Nazi’s note- deliberate use of a double negative)
With a love to dine
Everyday is Valentine’s!