My mind takes on a different vibe after midnight.
It lays its guard down. It unmasks itself
I read somewhere that the Japanese say that every human wears three masks.
1. Infront of people
2. Infront of friends and family.
3. Infront of themselves
No need to wonder which mask I fear.
My inner most fears, my demons, all memories and experienced that I have been suppressing
tend to tug at the hems of my consciousness.
The night envelopes me, drowns me, covers me.
Till I can see nothing,
Till I hear the silence.
Everynight becomes a battle,
And my mind is the battlefield.
I wake up exhausted, and float through another day of existence.
And then comes another night. And another battle.
I wonder what it feels like to fall asleep, peacefully.
Without effort. Since sleep evades me, I have enough time to wonder.
(Do you wonder about such things too? What keeps you up at night?)