(This blog was aimed as a means for me to make sense of myself, my life and the world around me. The following is part of a series where I aim to share little secrets about myself.)
I have mentioned before how people see me as the typical nerdy neighbourhood cat lady (without the cats and the glasses).
I think I have weird habbits-which may be the reason behind their image of me. For example I like chasing head lights.
In the evenings, twlight, dusk, night, as soon as the cars need to switch on their little luminiscent eyes.
I would be sat in a coffee shop, or at the corner of the street, and watch. Just watch. How the headlights follow one another to their destinations. I sit their and wonder. Make stories in my mind. Where the car came from and where it will go. How are the people in the car? What do they do? What do they feel?
I often even think of cars as living. How the headlights become the eyes. So the Audi has mysterious cat eyes, and the Scorpio has big stern eyes. Each car takes on a new personality if you think of them this way.
I sit and make tales. Just little harmless tales.
I am an escapist. I need an addiction. Something to keep me hooked. My mind can never be idle.
It needs a constant play thing to fiddle with. My mind never seems to stop.
I guess I like chasing headlights because my mind runs at the speed of light!
One would think that I have a lot of free time to meander away. Thats not the case. But my curiosity is a quenchless thirst. I guess its because that I feel too much, that I need a continous stream of stimuli.
I cannot quite analyse the reasons for this. But it looks so beautiful, the head lights after headlights. On a dimly lit highway, at high speeds, it seems as if little light pixies are chasing one another.
Maybe my fascination for them comes from the need of guidance. Headlights facilitate the car, help it navigate in the darkness and reach where it is supposed to be. If I had a pair of headlights, even I may be able to navigate my way through the darkness which seems to surround me.
I don’t know the reasons for my affections. But it is just something I do.
Chasing headlights lets me find newer worlds. 7 billion people 7 billion worlds. The possibilities are endless. How many have you visited?
Is there something peculiar that you do? That no one knows.