S…I…N..K..I..N…G Little Secret #2


You know that feeling.

When you are at the top of a roller coaster, and your heart is racing fast. And you get that sinking feeling as you descend.

I feel like that. All the time. I carry this feeling with me wherever I go.

I am sinking. And I know not where.

I am strapped on a roller coaster without my consent.
Seeping into the depths of nothingness.

Like a rock being thrown from a cliff but the land’s no where to be seen.ย 
I no longer want to be in the darkness where I have already so often been.

There is a blackhole in my stomach which is swallowing me, bit by bit, organ by organ.
Till one day when I shall finally collapse into my self.
I will implode and internally combust, turning into the darkness I desperately want to avoid.


The buttons on the sterio of my life are stuck perpetually on Loop.

Travelling from light to dark and dark to light.

Sinking somewhere in between twilight to midnight.ย 

– Fictionatrix


11 thoughts on “S…I…N..K..I..N…G Little Secret #2

      1. It’s called Depression: The Way Up When You Are Down. It’s by Edward T. Welch.
        It is a Christian book, so it may not stand by many of the normal procedures when facing depression.
        It was recommended to me by a close friend who also suffers from depression and they found it to be extremely helpful in a spiritual manner.

        Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you for your kind words.
      And no, you are never alone, we are all in different chapters of the same book!
      As for help, I can only tell you from personal experience- Meditation has helped me in calming my nerves and letting go of burdens. It is not a complete cure, but it gives relief.
      I write, and that seems to help me.
      You can try distracting yourself- watch a series/movie, listen to music, read a book,
      play a game.
      It is the escapist’s route but sometimes one doesnt have the energy to deal with reality.
      I hope this helps!


  1. You spelled out something we all go through at some point of time with such precision! Totally relatable. I know this restless and uncertain feeling we have, and no one can help us with it until we ourselves choose to make a change ๐Ÿ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It is expressing such inner feelings on this platform that makes me realise that I am not the only one going through such things. We are all in different pages of the same book. It is difficult to make a change, but realising that there is a problem is a start! ๐Ÿ˜€

      Liked by 1 person

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