You know that feeling.
When you are at the top of a roller coaster, and your heart is racing fast. And you get that sinking feeling as you descend.
I feel like that. All the time. I carry this feeling with me wherever I go.
I am sinking. And I know not where.
I am strapped on a roller coaster without my consent.
Seeping into the depths of nothingness.
Like a rock being thrown from a cliff but the land’s no where to be seen.
I no longer want to be in the darkness where I have already so often been.
There is a blackhole in my stomach which is swallowing me, bit by bit, organ by organ.
Till one day when I shall finally collapse into my self.
I will implode and internally combust, turning into the darkness I desperately want to avoid.
The buttons on the sterio of my life are stuck perpetually on Loop.
Travelling from light to dark and dark to light.
Sinking somewhere in between twilight to midnight.