S…I…N..K..I..N…G Little Secret #2

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You know that feeling.

When you are at the top of a roller coaster, and your heart is racing fast. And you get that sinking feeling as you descend.

I feel like that. All the time. I carry this feeling with me wherever I go.

I am sinking. And I know not where.

I am strapped on a roller coaster without my consent.
Seeping into the depths of nothingness.

Like a rock being thrown from a cliff but the land’s no where to be seen.ย 
I no longer want to be in the darkness where I have already so often been.

There is a blackhole in my stomach which is swallowing me, bit by bit, organ by organ.
Till one day when I shall finally collapse into my self.
I will implode and internally combust, turning into the darkness I desperately want to avoid.

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The buttons on the sterio of my life are stuck perpetually on Loop.

Travelling from light to dark and dark to light.

Sinking somewhere in between twilight to midnight.ย 

– Fictionatrix

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11 thoughts on “S…I…N..K..I..N…G Little Secret #2

      1. It’s called Depression: The Way Up When You Are Down. It’s by Edward T. Welch.
        It is a Christian book, so it may not stand by many of the normal procedures when facing depression.
        It was recommended to me by a close friend who also suffers from depression and they found it to be extremely helpful in a spiritual manner.

        Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you for your kind words.
      And no, you are never alone, we are all in different chapters of the same book!
      As for help, I can only tell you from personal experience- Meditation has helped me in calming my nerves and letting go of burdens. It is not a complete cure, but it gives relief.
      I write, and that seems to help me.
      You can try distracting yourself- watch a series/movie, listen to music, read a book,
      play a game.
      It is the escapist’s route but sometimes one doesnt have the energy to deal with reality.
      I hope this helps!

      Like

  1. You spelled out something we all go through at some point of time with such precision! Totally relatable. I know this restless and uncertain feeling we have, and no one can help us with it until we ourselves choose to make a change ๐Ÿ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It is expressing such inner feelings on this platform that makes me realise that I am not the only one going through such things. We are all in different pages of the same book. It is difficult to make a change, but realising that there is a problem is a start! ๐Ÿ˜€

      Liked by 1 person

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