Those of you who read my blog regularly would remember that I lost my dearest friend to Cancer last year. The past one year has been a roller coaster that only goes down.
I had thought Time would heal the pain, but this wound, this burden seems to only tighten my chest and clog my windpipe.
There is a battle between my rational mind which continues to suppress all that I remember…and my emotional heart that tries to hold on to whatever that is left.
Leading to what I’d like to call Ghosts of memories. Because my mind keeps pushing and my heart keeps latching onto.
These memories are therefore like spirits..an essence of the time gone by.
They float in and out of my consciousness, and take me by surprise. They infiltrate my daily life and haunt me at night.
They are unclear and fuzzy. Blurred at the edges.
They never recede, never subside.
Like moisture on the coast after a high tide.
They come from no where and disappear without trace.
Somewhere into the nothingness of space.
I am in a state of Limbo, I belong to neither side. This tugg of war leaves me physically breathless.
Is there a way to chase these ghosts away?
Is there a way to bring them back to life?