Depression is a highly isolating condition. It is usually coupled with or enduces a fear of people. The little voice in your mind will tell you that people are mean and judgemental. It will make you feel ashamed of yourself.
(I found this beautiful comic strip on the internet, if you know the source, do tell me so I can credit them)
Most of us therefore, prefer to hide it, disguise it. Rather than letting people know.
Because letting your feelings show is a sign of weakness. Many of us have perfected our camouflage.
Yet, the black dog is always there. It never really leaves, but keeps lurking.
Repressing the feelings and triggers just increases the chances of a full on explosion. Which can happen in situations where you would rather not feel that way.
Having a break down, is normal. All of us have such points in life where it seems that our world is crashing down upon us.
By isolating ourselves, we deprive ourselves of the companionship and love of those who care.
Talking about your feelings is tough. However it is better than letting it boil inside. Support groups and therapy groups are a great way to connect with other individuals who are having similar problems. One can learn from their experience and can lend a helping hand to those in need.
Depression makes you think the worse about yourself. However, it is not true. You need to be patient and considerate. Removing the years of self hate will take time. You need to re define yourself in newer ways, kinder ways, positive ways.
Take one day at a time. Breathe, relax. Life is beautiful, it may seem tough now. But things do get better.
You are not alone.