How can I decide? – Late night thoughts

As I mentioned a few posts back, my dear dog is seriously unwell. . .
He is suffering from Cancer, has a tumour in his belly. The doctors have as of today evening given up.
He is too old to operate upon, he has lost his appetite and has lost a lot of weight.
As a result a hale and hearty dog now seems very weak, his ribs are visible. his breathing ragged.

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In just a month’s time everything has changed.
I dont live with my parents, so I get to meet Bruno, once in 4-6 months. The last time I was home, he was his usual cheerful self. Now, he can barely move.

The doctors say there isn’t much to be done, let nature take its course.
But in the process wouldnt his condition just continue to deteriorate?

I have been considering euthanising him. His suffering is more important than our love for him and our attachment. Isn’t one day of pain less than a month more of suffering?
I wish it didnt have to come to this, but wouldnt it ease him?

It isn’t my decision to make, and my family is perhaps more hopefull than I am. But, when I look at him, he doesnt wag his tail anymore, hardly barks, doesnt eat. He cannot control his bladder, and his nose bleeds when he sneezes.
Is this the kind of life we want for him? Is this kind of existence worth living?

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It is a tough decision, but I feel it needs to be made. I fear how I would live without him. My companion is on the brink of leaving me.
My sweetheart doesnt deserve so much trouble. I want him to go with the same love and dignity with which he was brought home.

What do you think? Have you ever made such a choice. Any feedback will be beneficial. Do keep him in your prayers, I would be utterly grateful.

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21 thoughts on “How can I decide? – Late night thoughts

  1. My heart crumbled to pieces when I last read about your dog being unwell, I love that picture atop the rock and hopefully what were mountains in the background. The thing is that we really can’t fathom if taking someone’s life is better or seeing them suffer is worse. I have a have pet too and it breaks my heart just to see him maniacally sway his head when his ear hurts.

    I would say that to keep him with you is your responsibility and his is to love you with all his heart, so why not keep up your end of the promise. Continue to love him, clean his mess and serve him, shower him with love, cherish the memories that still stay and without a doubt he will be grateful to you, for once though non-repayable, it will give you the chance to show him gratitude for his company…

    Will always keep him in my prayers..

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    1. Thankyou for your kind words. The slight problem there is, is that I dont live at home. I will go back in 11 days and then be back after 6 months. In between that time if he passes away, or there are any complications in his condition I wouldnt be there to care for him. My parents are both working and my brother goes to school so the chap is alone at home. Plus if something were to happen I wouldnt get to say my last goodbyes.
      We are trying are level best, he is being given 3 injections everyday for pain, liver infection and a multi vitamin as he refuses to eat. I dont like to see him this way. He isnt half the dog he used to be and it is somehow just going downhill. But fingers crossed, who knows we might get a christmas miracle! :’)

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      1. After reading your post, it still hasn’t sunk in that he is no more. Just yesterday I was praying for him…
        I hope you are holding up, this loss is one that will leave behind a bruised heart..

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  2. Oh my gosh I always get so emotional when it comes to animals:( I hope that soon his pain will end, and that he will be able to go to a much better place, I have an idea of what you must be feeling right now, we had to put our 13 year old dog down because he was getting too old and his bones were starting to deteriorate. He went from being the most lovely, kind, caring dog you could meet to a very aggressive, if not depressed, dog. I think he was the first dog my family (when they were together) ever owned.
    I just wish there was no pain, dogs are such lovely creatures and they shouldn’t die like this.
    I hope you and your family are all doing okay:( x

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  3. I am very sorry to hear this.Please be with him all the time. I know you just hav 11 more days:-( I hope he will get well soon. I l surely pray for him. Please do take care of yourself 😦

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  4. I Know how it feels when ur loved ones leave you. stay strong. and please take care. if u feel like crying do it don’t suppress it. But do take care of yourself.

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