I am often stuck in the dilemma faced by idealists and materialists.
Am I my mind, controlling my body.
Or, am I my body experiencing my mind.
I know scientifically it is a mixture of both. But its good food for thought.
The same I feel about places and people.
Do places make people or do people make places?
Recently I had the chance to go back to my old college, where I did my graduaion from.
Its almost been a year but as soon as I reached the premises, I felt the same. As if I had to run to room 10 for my lecture on global politics.
After spending everyday in a place for 3 years, you internalise it and memorise it.
My mind travels those pathways and corridors in my dreams.
I know those alleys better than I know myself.
Somewhere, I’d like to believe that the feeling is mutual.
That the place is a breathing, living being.
That it knows me too.
My quirks and habits, the songs I humm.
That it feels incomplete without me.
But that isn’t true, is it.
When I went back I wanted to hug those walls, but I know they wouldnt hug back. It is like unrequited love.
I had the opportunity of painting murals on campus. While I was studying there, those murals seemed my own. I felt a sense of pride. I would pass them everyday and smile.
A year later, they are nothing but just a frame in the long celuloid film of this institute’s life.
Do the people who pass them today, pause and wonder who made them?
Do they smile?
Those murals are for now just a speck in its long history.
For so many hearts beat within its walls, so many voices have echoed through, and will continue to do so.
Was mine heard? Will mine be rememered?
You may think I am crazy, for spending my time thinking about such silly things. But thats just how my mind works.
I guess its my loneliness that I am personifying an institution. I dont know. 😛
Just the kind of thoughts that keep swirling in my mind.
Sometimes I wish the cacophony to sweep me under.
Other times I want tear through it.
Have you felt the same about a place? Hope you have a lovely weekend.