Little Secret #3 Dilemma


I am often stuck in the dilemma faced by idealists and materialists.

Am I my mind, controlling my body.
Or, am I my body experiencing my mind.

I know scientifically it is a mixture of both. But its good food for thought.

The same I feel about places and people.

Do places make people or do people make places

Recently I had the chance to go back to my old college, where I did my graduaion from.
Its almost been a year but as soon as I reached the premises, I felt the same. As if I had to run to room 10 for my lecture on global politics.

After spending everyday in a place for 3 years, you internalise it and memorise it.
My mind travels those pathways and corridors in my dreams.
I know those alleys better than I know myself.

Somewhere, I’d like to believe that the feeling is mutual.

That the place is a breathing, living being.
That it knows me too.
My quirks and habits, the songs I humm.
That it feels incomplete without me.

But that isn’t true, is it.
When I went back I wanted to hug those walls, but I know they wouldnt hug back. It is like unrequited love.

I had the opportunity of painting murals on campus. While I was studying there, those murals seemed my own. I felt a sense of pride. I would pass them everyday and smile.

A year later, they are nothing but just a frame in the long celuloid film of this institute’s life.

Do the people who pass them today, pause and wonder who made them?
Do they smile?

Those murals are for now just a speck in its long history.
For so many hearts beat within its walls, so many voices have echoed through, and will continue to do so.
Was mine heard? Will mine be rememered?

The murals we painted.
Another one ...I feel as lost in myself as she is.

You may think I am crazy, for spending my time thinking about such silly things. But thats just how my mind works.
I guess its my loneliness that I am personifying an institution. I dont know. πŸ˜›
Just the kind of thoughts that keep swirling in my mind.

Sometimes I wish the cacophony to sweep me under.
Other times I want tear through it.

Have you felt the same about a place? Hope you have a lovely weekend.
Take care.


9 thoughts on “Little Secret #3 Dilemma

    1. Hahaha..Well thankyou Violet. ❀
      My existential mind is at some ease for now. πŸ˜›
      Its not creepy, a co incidence definetly.
      I knew you were in D.U. Didnt know you were in close proximity. We may have actually crossed each other at some point then. πŸ˜›


      1. Oh yes! The moment I saw those murals, I was kinda stunned for a second,and then I got a huge smile on my face. My brother and I started laughing when I told him why I was smiling like an idiot. It was like, I felt a connection, you know. Does that make sense? Probably not. I am not really emotionally attached to the college, you see.
        And yes. I was wondering the same thing. We might have crossed paths at sometime.:D

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Hahaha, I am glad I made you smile.

        We are like star crossed bloggers! πŸ˜›

        Even I am not emotionally attached to the college per se.
        But coming back after a year made me see it in a different light.
        JNU makes me question everything, it pinches me, makes me think.
        The old college seems like a comfort place in retrospect. A sense of nostalgia has coloured my vision.

        So basically when you joined college, I was in my 3rd year! πŸ˜›

        Liked by 1 person

      3. You definitely did.:D
        Haha we so are! πŸ˜› Lol
        Yeah. That kinda happened with school for me. No attachments were there even though I went there my whole school life. Then after coming to college,when I returned for a visit, school was something else altogether. I kinda had liked it back then.:)
        Yesss! Wow. So, I now know a senior from the department of Political Sciences(It’s pol sci, isn’t it?πŸ™Š). That’s cool. All the “acquaintances” are otherwise concentrated in the department of economics,obviously. :/
        P.S. Do remove the college name from your previous comment,if you don’t mind?:P

        Liked by 1 person

      4. Made the required change!
        I remember reading a post where you had put pictures of your school.

        Yes it is pol sc. I have a very close friend in your 2nd year of Eco. Happens to be the topper I have heard. I had a lot of friends from Eco when I was in college.
        Psst! Your H.O.D is on our campus everyday, also my facebook friend! Simply in awe of her at times

        Liked by 1 person

      5. I won’t tell you, relax.
        I wasn’t aiming to be sarcastic as such. She is quite the thing waise. However, in the light of the recent events I admire her understanding of the situation and the support she has rendered JNU.


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