One of the most crucial things as a relationship ends is closure.
It could be a romantic relationship, a friendship or a casual fling.
Closure is essential for your sanity. Or else the questions of “What If” and “If only” keep dancing in your head.
It is utmost crucial when you are at the receiving end of it.
When you end a relationship, your mind is clear so as to why things aren’t working anymore.
However, when you get ditched, when you are at the receiving end, you may or may not have a true grasp of whats up.
Which then causes a lot of confusion.
Recently, infact last night I faced this dilemma.
I was under the illusion that everything was fine. I got close to a person and opened up and in three days they got a new date and waltzed out of my life. Poof!
Just like that.
Now a heads up would have been appreciated greatly.
Instead I kept feeling like a moron.
Blamed myself for the failure.
My lack of self confidence further kicked in telling me how no man would ever stay because its not the brains they want, but the body that I don’t have.
The person had made it clear they weren’t looking for dating.
So I assumed they weren’t looking.
But alas as luck would have it.
They did find someone. Which is good. Happy for them.
But deep down I felt I wasn’t worthy enough.
And I vented out, lashed out had a nervous break down and scared the shit out of that guy.
He now believes that all women are manic and suicidal.
I feel so ashamed.
He did deserve some of it. You can’t just go on a date then come back to tell me how fun it was. Have the balls to inform in advance, dont make people feel ashamed of themselves.
The point of this post being,
as good and necessary closure may be. You may not always get it.
Things may have been great from your side. And meant nothing to them.
You may prioritise them, but they may have other active options.
And last but not the least, do not and I repeat, do not get into a casual fling if you know you cannot handle it.
So there is no need to feel ashamed.
Yes I fucked up!
Shouldnt have opened up too soon and trusted someone that easily.
But it is okay!
Life moves on…train keeps chugging.
Take a deep breath, suck it up, and let go of all the morons who make you feel any less worthy.
You are special, you are unique and you will find someone who appreciates that about you.